This really is going to be the last time I go out with the boys. If it's not one thing, it's another. One minute we are seeing who can drink the most mai tais and the next thing you know I'm in a duffle bag about to be sent off to the army. I faintly remember a rather large man yelling about living in close proximity with a lot of young men and promising that by joining the army, my legs would get longer. I now see the deep psychological game this man played on me: by preying on my two strongest desires, he has weakened me into submission. I will also have to blame Scruffles. Ever since he has gotten the arthritis in his back paw, he's been non stop with the alcohol and drugs. It is safe to say he is a lost cause. Nevertheless, a dog does not let another dog drink alone; thus, the mai tais. So now I sit and count down the last few minutes of freedom I have left. Pray for me. Think of me. Wait for me.
Editor's note: Despite his wildly happy smile, this dog really is dreading the next few days he will be spending in the army reserve.
You're my hero Wuji!
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